I read your note from a "Head" coach who wanted to know how to deal with parents. I wanted to cry. Really. For me, the head coach is supposed to coach kids soccer. Under active parents and over active parents are not part of the equation. What is a head coach, by the way? Head of what? The team or a club or more?
I read your note from a "Head" coach who wanted to know how to deal with parents. I wanted to cry. Really. For me, the head coach is supposed to coach kids soccer. Under active parents and over active parents are not part of the equation. What is a head coach, by the way? Head of what? The team or a club or more?
When I coached youth soccer this was my formula for dealing with parents.
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I made an alphabetical list of the parents by name, address and phone number.
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I gave the list to every parent. If they never appeared, I gave it to the player.
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I listed the week that parent was driving a carload of players to the game.
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I listed the week that selected parents were expected to bring water, oranges and tea in cold weather.
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I made it clear that if substitutions were needed I was not to contacted. Not my problem. No ride; no play. No water or oranges; not my problem. Blame somebody else.
My job, free of pay, was to train the team and coach them during games. Over and out.
There is an expression in baseball, "rabbit ears." This is for the coach or manager who has his ears open to the comments in the stands. I was hard of hearing and heard nothing.
I had one parent complain in all my years of coaching. Right now that is 37 years. I gave the complaining parent the roster of the team and left the field before the game began.
How long did that last? The game? Half the game? Did it last long enough for me to get to my car?
I am reminded of an experience in the Army many a year ago. I was teaching trigonometry to a group of officers. (I was and enlisted man.) All was going well when an officer interrupted me to make a point of what I was teaching. He took my pointer and chalk. I moved to the back of the room and sat next to the commanding officer of our unit.
The commanding officer turned to me and asked, "Do you know what he is doing to you?"
"No, sir"
"He just assumed your position so you are free to leave."
I left.
There must have been much laughter in the room when I got up and walked out with full permission of the commanding officer. The officer in the front of the room was left with a pointer and a piece of chalk, but no notes.
The coach has his place and parents have their place. Do not confuse the two.
Is that clear?