There I was sitting in my soccer spectator's spot behind a young gentleman preparing to toss the ball inbounds. His two coaches, about 15 yards up the same sideline, were frenetically directing their player to throw the ball to a specific spot.
Utterly overwhelmed by the verbal onslaught, the 9-year-old froze. Finally, the coaches calmed down and one said in a normal voice, "Don't worry about it. Just throw the ball in anywhere." And our budding soccer star did just that.

As the action moved away, I expressed my intent to take out life insurance policies on these opposing coaches. I figured my odds of collecting before the end of the season were pretty good.
I can't help but think our high-spirited coaches might have done things differently had they remembered the first words of the Association's Code of Conduct, "I will play for fun."
Have you ever watched 9-year-old boys play soccer? The game evolves into a peculiar form of rugby with a mass of players clumped around the hapless ball. Like a light photon trying to escape the sun, the orb bounces around randomly until by sheer luck it squirts out of the scrum. This rabid pile of players then descends upon the errant sphere like SUV owners on $2 gas. The only thing rarer than the accidental goals is someone actually passing the ball.

With that in mind, and despite sponsoring my son's team, I can't take youth soccer too seriously. But sadly, some coaches do. At worst, the two coaches we've already discussed can be accused of overzealousness, but they pale in comparison to some. It's this growing number who believe in emulating idiots like former college basketball coach Bobby Knight that worry me.
Last fall I reported one coach for literally screaming directions at his team every second of the game. I've seen others stomping down the sidelines like maniacs over a missed play. This spring I had to say something to one of our own coaches.

Like most of us, when given minimal direction, the appropriate encouragement and the opportunity, even 9-year-olds will do the right thing. But the predictable result of constant screaming is, just like the young man too scared to throw the ball in, a bunch of boys standing around terrified of doing the "wrong" thing. And how many won't be back next year?
Let me say anyone willing to set aside their Saturdays clearly deserves our admiration. Coaching children, a time-consuming and often thankless task, is a labor of love. And I have to give our coach credit. After our discussion he calmed down and really encouraged the kids. As a result, our team came together and played very well in the second half.

As the game proceeded, I couldn't help but wonder when parents decided it's appropriate for even well-intentioned adults to treat pre-teen athletes like pros. That answer came a bit quicker than expected when two mothers told the coach he needed to yell at their kids. God help us!
C'mon coaches -- consider your charges -- we're talking about 9-year-old boys here! These games are about them, not you. Are you so afraid of losing you can't give children the room to learn from their mistakes? Are you so frightened by the specter of your own youthful deficiencies you can't put off thrusting children into the cutthroat competitive throes of adulthood just a little bit longer?

"I will play to have fun." What's so hard about that?
jeffwardsun@sbcglobal.net